May 28: The Reason?

More driving today, getting to my spot for two nights before the rain started. I’m in Colby Kansas, deciding which way to go after my next Harvest Host reservation, that one in Nebraska. 

So, I turned on the new computer and went to open info I’d saved and it wasn’t there. Neither was more than half of what had been on my desktop. All I can do is sit tight and see if the download from iCloud to my desktop is still in the process of transferring, and that everything will be there when it’s done. (I only left the Apple Store after they told me the download was completed and everything was on my desktop.) My first reaction was a sick stomach and dread. That gave way to anger which is morphing into the why-me-why-now-why-that stage. Here’s were I get stuck. I believe everything happens for a reason, and that what’s being done is for me, and not to me. The problem is I want to know the reason. Now. To soothe the pain so I don’t sit in discomfort until everything shakes out however it’s going to shake out. The card I drew from The Witches’ Wisdom Tarot asking “what is the reason” was 11 – Balance which speaks of equilibrium, of everything in harmony. Hmmmm … yes, balance is good. So maybe I will keep getting knocked sideways until I am grounded and balanced so blows don’t knock me into panic or fear.

Right now I am going to try to recreate two files, and drink another cup of tea while I sit in front of my diesel heater and figure out what I’m doing tomorrow and the days after that.